HOMOSEXUALITY, PEDOPHILIA, AND THE NATURE OF HUMAN SEXUALITY
Owen Courreges leaves some thoughtful comments on the "Santorum ad Nauseum" post below that are worthy of an entirely new post on sexuality. I'm at odds whether it belongs here, on the No-Lyfe Journal, or somewhere else. But since it was spawned here, here it will go.
On the subject of whether or not homosexuality is learned or genetic, Owen makes the following observation:
Kudos to Owen for his honesty on this subject. Unfortunately, juxtiposing homosexuality and pedophilia, however intellectually, is often when serious discussion ends without the actual merits of such a comparison and contrast being made.
First, the similarities of pro-homosexual and pro-pedophilia arguments: Human sexuality ought to be realized. God, nature, or whomever would not have given us these desires if they were not meant to be realized. At a cursory glance, it may sound like that was an argument I was advancing below, but it is not. Same goes for adult heterosexuality, which is very often felt in contexts where it should not be realized. But on the subject at hand, homosexuality has only recently had its legitimacy recognized in many quarters (and it remains rejected in most) and though pedophilia is rejected in the great majority of contemporary western society, there are various movements underway to have its legitimacy recognized.
Except in the case of homosexual pedophilia, that's more or less where the similarities end. Men having sex with and wanting to have sex with other adult men and men having sex or wanting to have sex with female children are, in practice, very different things with different consequences. For information on my view of homosexuality and why I do not believe it wrong, read #1 two posts down so I don't have to repeat it here.
So, Owen reasonably asks, if God would not punish us by giving some desire for other men, why would he do it by giving some desire for children?
To answer this question, I believe that we must first make the distinction between attraction to young girls (and boys) of pre-pubescent age and young ladies (and boys) of later adolescence. I don't think many would argue that a man molesting a six year old and seducing a sixteen year old are on the same moral plane except insofar as they are both wrong and damaging to the younger party involved. The scope of immorality and damage, however, are worlds apart. So, for the sake of discussion, I will refer to pedophilic acts as Pre-Pubescent Pedophilia (3P) or Late Adolescence Pedophilia (LAP).
In the case of LAP, I believe the attraction to be the mere perversion of standard heterosexuality (or homosexuality). Having gone through puberty (or mostly having done so), they set off the same chemical reactions in men than do women their own age that capture their interest. People, all people, are generally attracted to a certain "type." For some people, this type includes highly energetic, spunky girls. Such a person would likely constantly find themselves attracted to the younger sort. The corrolation may be so strong that they trick themselves into believing that it is all they are attracted to, when in reality a woman their own age with these characteristics would just as easily be able to keep their attention. To the degree that is not possible, they are likely unable to deal with real women with unavoidable adult issues and he is a case of stunted maturity level that likely transcends their sexuality.
In the case of 3P, it is in my observation linked to one of two things: lost innocence and powerlessness.
In the case of lost innocence, their attraction to the very young is linked to a feeling of innocence or that they long to return to. It is less a sexual problem and more a root psychological one that becomes sexual by emotional confusion of callous decision. That is why, for instance, otherwise heterosexual men will molest young boys. It also helps explain the link to being abused as a child and growing into being an abuser. If a man loses his innocence at a very young age, when he gets older he is more likely to be attracted to the innocence they feel they were denied. The desire to return to that innocence, to become "one" with it, can turn sexual if left unchecked. It is, therefore, a learned behavior in my experience based in large part off of experience.
The other motivation is powerlessness of either a sexual nature or a non-sexual nature that becomes one. Sexual powerlessness can be motivated either by unwanted celibacy, being sexually dominated in childhood (which also explains molestation cycles), or an unhappy marriage (possibly related to unwanted celibacy). Non-sexual powerlessness can be attributed to dissatisfaction at work (powerlessness against boss), a domineering spouse (powerlessness against wife), over overbearing family or acquaintances (powerlessness against them). The percieved remedy is a sexual power trip, which can take many strpes. It explains 3P, but also LAP, S&M, prostitution, and sexual harassment. In the case of pedophilia, by virtue of experience and size, they have the ability to completely dominate their victims. Psychologically, physically, and emotionally. The assymetry of the relationship is an aphrodesiac of sorts. Like the 'lost innocence' motivation, it is largely situational and not biological.
So what situational motivations would make one homosexual? Some of the above could do it, but the corrolation just isn't as strong. If a young man is abused by his father, he may grow up equating men with sexuality. If a young woman is, she may grow up hating men. That may explain some cases of it, but it doesn't explain all of them. Many come from good, loving homes. A number of self-fulfilling reasons can be come up with to explain it, but they are transparent in the long view. "Well he's gay because his parents were really authoritarian and therefore they are rebelling" vs. "Well he's gay because his parents were really permissive and liberal." The weak corrolation between those that are gay doesn't explain very much. Some are feminine men and masculine women, but many aren't. Some have troubled youths, others don't. Some are at odds with the way they were raised, others aren't.
But here's a real indication of how different homosexuality is from pedophilia of all stripes: It affects men and women almost equally.
Pedophilia, on the other hand, is largely a male issue. While women are perpetrators in some cases, most offenders are male. The attentioned garnered to Mary Kay Laterneaux underscores that point. It was newsworthy because it was so atypical. This assymetry also lends creedence to the sexual power trip motivation of many abusers. Men often feel that they are supposed to be dominating and when they are being dominated are inclined to find someone to dominate. A woman under the same set of circumstances will react differently than does a man. That suggests to me that the degree to which it becomes sexual is, in large part, a decision by the sexual aggressor. It is the sexualization of a psychological problem and a reaction predisposed by men. Accordingly, men could choose to respond differently (as many do).
Homosexuality, on the other hand, is the solution to no psychological problem unrelated to sex and gender. The only exception that comes to mind are the stereotypical man-hating lesbian, but they are generally rare and there is the strong possibility that it is borne from being female and being uninclined to "fratrinize with the enemy." In other words, they are not male, they don't need or want anything from males, and therefore they are free to hate males all they like while boosting their ego. In other words, it is their lesbianism that feeds their contempt for men and not vice-versa.
Anyhow, I think that covers it. Keep in mind the above is my opinion and most of it will be forever unproven, but it is my rationale for why pedophilia and homosexuality are two different birds entirely and why I can find one repugnant and the other a valid expression of sexuality.
I intended to write more about human sexuality in general, but I'll have to save it for another time.
Owen Courreges leaves some thoughtful comments on the "Santorum ad Nauseum" post below that are worthy of an entirely new post on sexuality. I'm at odds whether it belongs here, on the No-Lyfe Journal, or somewhere else. But since it was spawned here, here it will go.
On the subject of whether or not homosexuality is learned or genetic, Owen makes the following observation:
When I think of a great many people who do a great many things, I wonder how they could simply wake up one morning by deciding to do it. I wonder why pedophiles like children, and I wonder why serial adulterers like making committments and breaking them. Pointing out that there are negative consequences to homosexuality does not prove in the slightest that it is entirely involuntary.
...
On the theological point, however, I do agree but still have my doubts. After all, many people have genetic predispositions and disorders that do not preclude moral responibility for their actions, but nevertheless place a burden on them to control certain desires. Does this mean God places a special burden on some people, but not others? Does this mean God is hateful? You'd have to go into a serious debate over the nature of suffering and of moral obligation to sort this out.
Kudos to Owen for his honesty on this subject. Unfortunately, juxtiposing homosexuality and pedophilia, however intellectually, is often when serious discussion ends without the actual merits of such a comparison and contrast being made.
First, the similarities of pro-homosexual and pro-pedophilia arguments: Human sexuality ought to be realized. God, nature, or whomever would not have given us these desires if they were not meant to be realized. At a cursory glance, it may sound like that was an argument I was advancing below, but it is not. Same goes for adult heterosexuality, which is very often felt in contexts where it should not be realized. But on the subject at hand, homosexuality has only recently had its legitimacy recognized in many quarters (and it remains rejected in most) and though pedophilia is rejected in the great majority of contemporary western society, there are various movements underway to have its legitimacy recognized.
Except in the case of homosexual pedophilia, that's more or less where the similarities end. Men having sex with and wanting to have sex with other adult men and men having sex or wanting to have sex with female children are, in practice, very different things with different consequences. For information on my view of homosexuality and why I do not believe it wrong, read #1 two posts down so I don't have to repeat it here.
So, Owen reasonably asks, if God would not punish us by giving some desire for other men, why would he do it by giving some desire for children?
To answer this question, I believe that we must first make the distinction between attraction to young girls (and boys) of pre-pubescent age and young ladies (and boys) of later adolescence. I don't think many would argue that a man molesting a six year old and seducing a sixteen year old are on the same moral plane except insofar as they are both wrong and damaging to the younger party involved. The scope of immorality and damage, however, are worlds apart. So, for the sake of discussion, I will refer to pedophilic acts as Pre-Pubescent Pedophilia (3P) or Late Adolescence Pedophilia (LAP).
In the case of LAP, I believe the attraction to be the mere perversion of standard heterosexuality (or homosexuality). Having gone through puberty (or mostly having done so), they set off the same chemical reactions in men than do women their own age that capture their interest. People, all people, are generally attracted to a certain "type." For some people, this type includes highly energetic, spunky girls. Such a person would likely constantly find themselves attracted to the younger sort. The corrolation may be so strong that they trick themselves into believing that it is all they are attracted to, when in reality a woman their own age with these characteristics would just as easily be able to keep their attention. To the degree that is not possible, they are likely unable to deal with real women with unavoidable adult issues and he is a case of stunted maturity level that likely transcends their sexuality.
In the case of 3P, it is in my observation linked to one of two things: lost innocence and powerlessness.
In the case of lost innocence, their attraction to the very young is linked to a feeling of innocence or that they long to return to. It is less a sexual problem and more a root psychological one that becomes sexual by emotional confusion of callous decision. That is why, for instance, otherwise heterosexual men will molest young boys. It also helps explain the link to being abused as a child and growing into being an abuser. If a man loses his innocence at a very young age, when he gets older he is more likely to be attracted to the innocence they feel they were denied. The desire to return to that innocence, to become "one" with it, can turn sexual if left unchecked. It is, therefore, a learned behavior in my experience based in large part off of experience.
The other motivation is powerlessness of either a sexual nature or a non-sexual nature that becomes one. Sexual powerlessness can be motivated either by unwanted celibacy, being sexually dominated in childhood (which also explains molestation cycles), or an unhappy marriage (possibly related to unwanted celibacy). Non-sexual powerlessness can be attributed to dissatisfaction at work (powerlessness against boss), a domineering spouse (powerlessness against wife), over overbearing family or acquaintances (powerlessness against them). The percieved remedy is a sexual power trip, which can take many strpes. It explains 3P, but also LAP, S&M, prostitution, and sexual harassment. In the case of pedophilia, by virtue of experience and size, they have the ability to completely dominate their victims. Psychologically, physically, and emotionally. The assymetry of the relationship is an aphrodesiac of sorts. Like the 'lost innocence' motivation, it is largely situational and not biological.
So what situational motivations would make one homosexual? Some of the above could do it, but the corrolation just isn't as strong. If a young man is abused by his father, he may grow up equating men with sexuality. If a young woman is, she may grow up hating men. That may explain some cases of it, but it doesn't explain all of them. Many come from good, loving homes. A number of self-fulfilling reasons can be come up with to explain it, but they are transparent in the long view. "Well he's gay because his parents were really authoritarian and therefore they are rebelling" vs. "Well he's gay because his parents were really permissive and liberal." The weak corrolation between those that are gay doesn't explain very much. Some are feminine men and masculine women, but many aren't. Some have troubled youths, others don't. Some are at odds with the way they were raised, others aren't.
But here's a real indication of how different homosexuality is from pedophilia of all stripes: It affects men and women almost equally.
Pedophilia, on the other hand, is largely a male issue. While women are perpetrators in some cases, most offenders are male. The attentioned garnered to Mary Kay Laterneaux underscores that point. It was newsworthy because it was so atypical. This assymetry also lends creedence to the sexual power trip motivation of many abusers. Men often feel that they are supposed to be dominating and when they are being dominated are inclined to find someone to dominate. A woman under the same set of circumstances will react differently than does a man. That suggests to me that the degree to which it becomes sexual is, in large part, a decision by the sexual aggressor. It is the sexualization of a psychological problem and a reaction predisposed by men. Accordingly, men could choose to respond differently (as many do).
Homosexuality, on the other hand, is the solution to no psychological problem unrelated to sex and gender. The only exception that comes to mind are the stereotypical man-hating lesbian, but they are generally rare and there is the strong possibility that it is borne from being female and being uninclined to "fratrinize with the enemy." In other words, they are not male, they don't need or want anything from males, and therefore they are free to hate males all they like while boosting their ego. In other words, it is their lesbianism that feeds their contempt for men and not vice-versa.
Anyhow, I think that covers it. Keep in mind the above is my opinion and most of it will be forever unproven, but it is my rationale for why pedophilia and homosexuality are two different birds entirely and why I can find one repugnant and the other a valid expression of sexuality.
I intended to write more about human sexuality in general, but I'll have to save it for another time.